DEAR ABBY: Son’s new playmate resides in a home with sex offender

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Printed Mar 27, 2024  •  Final up to date 25 minutes in the past  •  3 minute learn

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DEAR ABBY: We lately moved to a brand new neighbourhood. My 8-year-old son, “Joey,” has develop into finest pals with a classmate, “Paul,” who lives on our avenue. We all know from analysis we did once we purchased our home that Paul’s stepfather, with whom he lives, is a intercourse offender who dedicated crimes towards kids and served time in jail.

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Paul has been coming to our home most days, which is ok. Nonetheless, each Paul and Joey have began asking whether or not Joey can go play at Paul’s home. I’ll by no means enable my son to play there. Sooner or later, the boys will need a proof, however I don’t suppose Paul is aware of about his stepfather’s previous, and I don’t suppose Paul’s mom is aware of that I do know.

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If I inform Joey an age-appropriate model of the reality, I’m certain he’ll inform Paul. I don’t suppose that is how Paul ought to hear about his stepfather’s previous, plus I’m involved it would trigger Paul’s mom to get upset and minimize off the children’ friendship. Do you have got any recommendation? — CONFLICTED IN THE WEST

DEAR CONFLICTED: Are you completely sure that you’ve the story proper and Paul’s stepdad is a registered intercourse offender? I ask as a result of I’m stunned that he can be allowed to stay in a family with a minor baby.

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Your concern that Joey may inform Paul about his stepfather is laudable. A option to deal with it will be to proceed insisting that the boys play solely at your home. I do suppose you must focus on this with Paul’s mom so you realize for certain that is what you’re coping with. Whether it is true, for the following few years use the outdated, “As a result of I’m your mom and I mentioned so!” when Joey asks to go to Paul. Ultimately, the reality goes to come back out, however Paul ought to hear it from his mom.

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DEAR ABBY: I’ve been married for eight years. I really like my spouse with my coronary heart and soul. The issue is, though I’m in love together with her, I nonetheless love my ex-wife. I by no means truly expressed these emotions towards my ex till lately. I write to her and name her, hoping she’s going to reply. I don’t wish to depart my spouse as a result of she’s a superb girl. However so was my ex. What can I do?

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Each time my spouse and I’ve a disagreement, I begin occupied with my ex and what life would’ve been like if I had stayed together with her. I discover myself occupied with her increasingly typically every day. I do know my ex nonetheless loves me, though she received’t come out and say it. Is it OK to be in love with one and nonetheless love the opposite? — LOTS OF LOVE IN FLORIDA

DEAR LOTS: Could I inject a sliver of actuality into your fantasy? You say you “know” your ex-wife nonetheless loves you though she received’t come out and say it, nor does she reply your passionate letters. I’d say her refusal to speak sends a fairly sturdy message that she doesn’t really feel the way in which you do.

I don’t know what’s incorrect in your present marriage, however for those who don’t cease pining over the spouse you dumped, you will lose this one, too. Counselling might provide help to accomplish this, and it’s what I strongly suggest. Begin now.

— Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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