DEAR ABBY: Family dynamics add to sister’s anxiety issues

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Printed Apr 06, 2024  •  Final up to date 1 hour in the past  •  2 minute learn

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DEAR ABBY: 5 years in the past, I used to be identified with GAD (generalized anxiousness dysfunction). It manifests itself with sudden outbursts of anger after I’m pressured, which is usually. I’ve three sisters, two of whom are bossy and attempt to take over and management each little factor. I’ve at all times had a troublesome relationship with considered one of them. When she stresses me out, I are inclined to blow up at her simply.

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The opposite day, we have been in a hectic scenario, and I blew up at her. I later apologized and defined about my anxiousness. She replied that it wasn’t my anxiousness however that I wish to be the boss and don’t wish to settle for her assist with something. She then proceeded to order me to do sure issues the best way she needed them carried out.

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I wish to minimize ties together with her due to how she impacts my psychological well being and sanity. However, in any case, she’s my sister, and there are conditions wherein I must be round her. Please advise. — ANXIETY-RIDDEN IN WEST VIRGINIA

DEAR ANXIETY-RIDDEN: You aren’t going to alter your sister. Her compulsion to manage is ingrained in her. Keep away from her as a lot as potential. Nonetheless, if there are conditions in which you’ll be able to’t do this, be well mannered and maintain far. Don’t argue together with her, and keep in mind: Simply because somebody tells you to do one thing doesn’t imply it’s important to do it.

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Having been identified with GAD, I hope you understand there are remedies for it — treatment and discuss remedy. In case your situation impacts your different relationships, think about speaking about it with the medical skilled who gave you that analysis.

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DEAR ABBY: I’m 29, and I misplaced my dad final 12 months. I’m writing to ask how I might help my five-year-old perceive dying higher. He misses his grandpa a lot that he cries. Typically he tells me he remembers lots about my dad, and different instances he tells me he doesn’t. I’m very anxious that he’s suppressing his reminiscences of my father, and I don’t need him to.

My son has a whole lot of good reminiscences from when he was youthful. I attempted to point out him photos of my dad and him collectively, however tonight he blended up his reminiscences of him with one other grandpa. I attempted to speak to him, however he wouldn’t open up. How can I get him to speak in confidence to me and begin remembering? — REMEMBERING IN INDIANA

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DEAR REMEMBERING: Your son is 5. After all he misses his grandfather. However anticipating him to cling to each reminiscence of the quick time they spent collectively is unrealistic, no matter how a lot you would like it. You may gain advantage from discussing this with a toddler psychologist.

You can’t drive the boy to recollect, and making an attempt to do this or make him really feel responsible may really be dangerous. Books have been written for kids as regards to dying. Please think about getting a number of to your boy.

— Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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